Not all water fountains are created equal. Some fountains taste noticeably of iron, others are revoltingly chambré, and some blast water at pressures more typical of a Super Soaker. You really don’t know what you’ll get until you take that first sip.
Around 1,600 people travel back and forth through South’s hallways each day, and every one of us gets thirsty. When your throat begins to dry up and your tongue starts to wither, which of South’s water fountains will provide the thirst-quenching relief you so strongly desire?
To understand the different available options for water, we– Julia Diez (‘25) as the opinionated water sommelier (or expert) and Saliha Ahmed (‘25) as the diligent data clerk– visited every fountain in the school and judged each by the following criteria: taste, temperature, texture, and pressure.
Here are our picks:
The best: Fountain in Commons 1, outside the Culinary Lab
Located conveniently in a major hallway, this fountain gets good marks across the board, with good taste, cold water, a good mouth feel and moderate pressure. Julia’s comments: “This is why I go all the way here when I want water.”
The worst: Fountain in Commons 1, outside the men’s bathroom
The faucet, with oxidised copper adorning its base, dispenses lukewarm water that makes standing in the way of bathroom traffic not worth it. It’s a total antithesis to its counterpart on the other side of the commons. Julia’s comments: “Leaves an unpleasant coppery aftertaste.”
The coldest: Fountain in Penn-Lyle Entrance
Just as cold as the hallway it’s in, this fountain provides a more isolated place to sloppily drink water without judgement. With good texture and pressure, the water also has a hint of that lovely metallic taste. Julia’s comments: “The cold made my teeth hurt.”
The messiest: Fountain outside 900’s
Right next to the mezzanine staircase, drinking from this sloshing fountain risks being drowned in full view of passing teachers. The cold water itself has no remarkable taste. Julia’s comments: “Pressure could leave an unsuspecting individual soaked.”
Best for taller folks: Fountain outside 700’s
This water fountain is a lone wolf among fountains, featuring a fancy Elkay Global Industries label. A refreshingly cold temperature is tempered with a stagnant taste and a higher position. Julia’s comments: “Not toddler-friendly.”
Best for shorter folks: Fountain in 500’s
This low placed water fountain features a slightly sweet yet bitter taste, a contradiction continued in its low placement that requires an averagely tall user to stoop quite low and risk too much interaction with the water. Julia’s comments: “Child friendly.”
Most suspicious: Fountain in 900’s
Made of all silver metal and tucked away in a corner near the electric room, this fountain seems like a relic from the past. While the lukewarm smooth textured water tastes good, it splatters on the floor. Julia’s comments: “Button is hard to press. I might break my thumb.”
Most improved: Fountain in Commons 3
When we first visited this fountain, it had an outward angled faucet that created a slipping hazard on the floor. Julia’s comments: “Very irresponsible to have it facing that direction.” But we returned to find the faucet safely angled inwards and no injured bystanders.
Dishonorary mention: Fountain outside 600’s
A just-right temperature, unpleasant texture and splattering—this fountain is decent but tastes like “burnt matcha.” Julia’s comments: “Nothing can compensate for that burnt matcha taste—burnt matcha without the payoff.”
